July 29, 2009

The Trials of Trading Louis for Loehmans

Since I am a woman of the people, I worry that those of you who are not into teenage vampire novels have been left without anything to read at North Avenue Beach this summer. Although I still cannot stress enought that you are missing out on that one, I found another gem for you to pick up while you work on your tan, this one containing more Prada and pearls than vampires.


Let's just say I have a long history with this book. It was about 2.5 years ago when I first hopped on amazon.com and ordered Bitter is the New Black fully titled Bitter is the New Black : Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass,Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office (funny without even cracking it open, no?)by Chicago native Jen Lancaster, at the recommendation of a friend. I opened it and was immediately addicted, which ironically created a problem as it encountered another addiction of mine...I took the book everywhere. Normally I would listen to my iPod on the El (Or at least put it on with the sound off so no crazy crack heads talked to me), but tossed the Pod to the side in favor of reading my new fab novel on the train. Unfortunately these good times were short lived, as I often opted for happy hour after work. Walking into the bar, the book was tucked securely in my non-zipping (I know) purse. Walking out of the bar...who the hell knows what happened to it. I lost TWO (one, not two) copies of this book. Chances are one of you readers picked up my copy on the El, in a taxi or in my front lawn (and possibly a few of my cell phones as well) and have beat me to the punch. At the time, it just wasn't mean to be.


Fast forward 2.5 years, a new purse with a zipper and add 4 months of no drinky....Which brings me to a few weeks ago, a seemingly like a good time to hop back on amazon.com again and get back into the book... Mostly because I couldn't attend happy hour now without sobbing.


This cynibook is based on the life of Jen Lancaster, the author, a Chicago native who was living the good life as the Vice President of a dot com company in the early part of the decade. Jen and her boyfriend have a swanky Bucktown apartment, she spends her lesiure time at the salon, and at Neiman's and Bloomingdales and isn't afraid to tell anyone how it is (or how she sees it)...until she is laid off. The book is a cynical and hilarious look at her 2+ years of unemployment, with stories that many can relate to. It is a great look at how reality hits most at some point and the trials and tribulations of trading Fendi for Forever 21 and realizing that going from from the yuppie neighbor to the white trash neighbor can happen in the blink of an eye.


Chicago natives will love this because there are many references to Chicago bars, neighborhoods and landmarks. People who aren't in Chicago will love this because of the sheer humor and cleverness of the writing.


I HIGHLY recommend this book. If you like this blog, it is definitely for you as some similar topics are covered and the humor is similar (except she is wayyyy funnier). Plus you can get it for $5.25 used on Amazon, so skip a half of a martini (I am just jealous) and get on it!


http://www.amazon.com/Bitter-New-Black-Condescending-Self-Centered/dp/0451217608/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1248804406&sr=8-1


July 28, 2009

Saving The Bachelorette




So the final episode of The Bachelorette was last night, from what I hear. I must confess that I did not watch this season, although I was obsessed with last season. The decision not to view was for a few reasons. #1- What could possible beat the entertainment of D-Bag Jason, the last Bachelor, crying like a school girl every 3.5 minutes and jerking around 2 girls that were way too good for him? My skeptical nature lead me to believe that this season could never compete and I would only be disappointed. #2 - Every time I did turn on the show, Jillian was making out with a different dude. I had already seen her dry humping Jason in the hot tub, does America need more of this? If I wanted to see a boring girl making out with 10 guys after a few drinks I would go down to Barleycorn on a Saturday night. #3- At the beginning it overlapped with "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here", which I will admit I became addicted to. I think seeing that in writing could be almost as embarrassing as admitting a crack addiction. #4- Pick a blonde Bachelorette already, it's been awhile. I know we get a bad rap, but I don't think we are any skankier than the brunettes that have been on the show. After all, most of us are brunettes underneath anyhow!

Since ABC did not thrill me this season (get it together, I AM your target market), I am taking it upon myself to make next season (which will be The Bachelor) more entertaining by campaigning for everyone to nominate my dear friend of 15+ years, Becky Flasck (pictured above...HECK YEAH I added a picture this week, movin on up!). For those of you that don't know her, she would be PERRRRFECT, although she is not a blonde :-) !!!!! If you are asking yourself if you have met her, you haven't, you would remember! First, I am doing this because she is really a great person that deserves a guy who has his s*it together...Although the Bachelor may not always have this quality (ie Jason), she hearts Kiptyn, who is the next Bachelor, so he must have something going on. (I am skeptical of anyone named Kiptyn, however I will trust her judgement and give her support). Second, I am doing America a favor, as Becky should have her own reality show. ABC should be paying her. If you have ever been out at a bar and witnessed "The Becky Show", you would know what I meant. She is a great girl, a total hottie and has personality plus!

With that, I leave you with the link below and encourage you to nominate her. The application literally takes about 2 minutes. While I am not posting her height, weight and address on this blog, I can be contacted at sebastian.lauren@gmail.com for this info and a picture to upload. Seriously, I know we are all busy, but do yourself a favor and stop changing your Facebook status for 2 minutes ("Lauren Sebastian...Can't wait to eat lunch!"...NO ONE CARES), shoot me an email and fill this out. Make some good TV to view when the weather gets cold!
PS - I plan to forbid her from going into the "Fantasy Suite" on live TV... A-Her dad would be disappointed aka disown her B-When I ACCIDENTALLY caught one of the "Fantasy Suite" scenes this season, Jillian had taken on of her potential mates up there and he had gotten "stage fright" (perhaps from the prospect of being sloppy thirteenths), so she just ended up looking easy and didn't even get any :-). Not worth it Beckster.

July 13, 2009

The Real Fashionistas of New Jersey

Move over Tony & Carmella, there is a new famous "family" in North Jersey. Say what you will about these Real Housewives ( and there is A LOT to say) but there is no denying that these ladies have got the drama and the dress! For those of you who weren't watching A-Shame on you for having a life and B-I strongly suggest catching the re-runs on Bravo before Season 2 (YES, you heard me ladies and gents, rumor has it that filming is about to begin for the next season, which is supposedly twice the Drrrama, with a CAPITAL D!). Fashion lovers take notice, the season was filled with great finds.

First and foremost, for those of you who did watch, tell me you don't remember Dina's Blue & Cream Alice & Olivia Hombre Rosette tube dress from "The Final Supper" ( http://www.seenon.com/fashion-rewind-dinas-alice-olivia-ombre-rosette-tube-dress-from-the-real-housewives-of-new-jersey/ ) ...It was a dream. In fact, when I Googled it to snatch up one of my own, it was impossible to find (*reward offered to anyone who finds this IN STOCK and sends me the link*). It may have been a travesty for Danielle to bring 'the book' to a nice dinner, but it surely was was a sin for Teresa to flip that table and run the risk of spilling anything on that fashion masterpiece!

After putting my Sherlock Hermes hat on and doing some investigating, I discovered that Dina recently launched her own website, Ina Jolie, featuring Women's and Children's clothing and accessories - http://www.inajolie.com/index.html . As the welcome page on the site explains, it is brand new & in the works (as the site is looking a little less than couture at this point), but I have a feeling this is one to keep an eye on because the girl has style.

Sites I am not as sure about but will still follow just to see....Housewife Caroline is also using the spotlight to launch a fashion website of her own - http://www.4mymom.com/index.html . This one is for toddlers, but may have some cute finds, it's hard to say since I don't know if being mildly frightening equates to being a good Internet retailer. Housewife Teresa is also using her 15 minutes to launch a website with apparel & accessories for men, women and kids http://www.teresagiudice.com/. I may suggest steering clear of the T's with Teresa's "memorable" quotes screen printed on them. I love the show, but you gottsta be true Jersey to sport that! The girls clothes may be cute, as her own daughter's were dressed like mini fashionistas. As you can tell, I enjoy the show, but you've gotto be true Jersey to go after one of those.

As I serach for my Real Housewives finds, check out the fiasco's and fashion of the RHofNJ, you don't want to miss this:

http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-jersey.

July 10, 2009

If You Seek Brittney


Let me just start off by saying that after a longer than expected hiatus, The Big Blond Hair Blog is back. For those of you who know my recent happenings, I assure you that this will not turn into the Big Blond Baby Blog, and there will be no mention of diapers, dreaded breast pumps, or the "cool" new maternity jeans I am sure to convince myself are stylish to stop from falling into fashion depression. If I ever feel the need to start talking about this, I assure you I will find a different media that will broadcast to interested parties (aka a personal journal).

Where to begin? So much has happened while I have been away.....The Real Housewives of New Jersey, the death of the King of Pop, Lauren attending Heidi & Spencer's wedding....Where do I begin? After some deep thought sessions, I have decided to start with Brittney Spears making me realize that I am no spring chicken.

A few months back my dear friend Erica was kind enough to invite me to see Brittney on her Circus Tour. I had never been a Brittney fanatic, but I figured it would be a good show and at the very worst I would get to witness a nervous breakdown or Brit referring to some part of the female anatomy into a mic that she thinks is turned off. Well, I was very pleasantly suprised...she put on the best show I have ever seen! Was this what I was missing out on my only attending concerts with metal detectors at the door? She really put on such a fantastic show, I cannot say enough, nor can I cannot even imagine the cost....7 costume changes, amazing set changes, amazing dancers, pyrotechnics...I could go on! She looked amazing, danced amazing, and "sounded" amazing. I was even taking pictures on my phone! She made me feel like I was 16 again (thank God because that was probably the average age of the other concert goers), screaming and cheering, and it was fantastic!

Things changed after the concert. I had more Brittney on the iPod, I made frequent channel changes to E News to see what she was up to (okay, maybe I always watched it nightly, but I definitely paid much better attention !)and I was singing proudly along to my new fave song of hers on the radio..."Love me hate me say what you want about me all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to blah blah do do do", repeat. Man what a great song!

Fast forward to this week.....My sister in law enlightened me to the fact that all of my blah blah do do do's were not so innocent (no pun intended :-). She is a high school lacrosse coach, and was informed of the meaning of the song, actually entitled 'If You Seek Amy' by her players. As I'm thinking, "who is this Amy and what could be so dirty about this song?" I then proceeded to repeat "Are begging to if....you....seek...Amy" slooowly and boom, there is was! (For all of you that are as slow as I am, Google search "If You Seek Amy Lyrics meaning', although I am almost positive I am the only one who was unaware of this) Sure, I am getting "older" but I still have this picture of myself as knowing what is going on! Was Brittney taunting me for being too old to like her music? Did I need to change the station to Light FM, throw away my Juicy tracksuits in favor of Ann Taylor and say goodbye to any hint of youth I may have had left?

As I thought about this, I was reminded of the day back when I was younger and visiting my granny at the senior building. We ran into her friend Mildred who informed me that she was taking her young children to a Disney movie. I asked which Disney movie and she replied " Oh that one about lambs? What is it? .... Silence of the Lambs" I was quick to inform Mildred that this was hardly and Disney movie and ended up being a heroine, responsible for saving her grandkiddies from years of nightmares and therapy. Was I now Mildred???

After much thought I came up with on concluison.... I never learn. Brittney is back in Chicago September 9th and I'm about to buy tickets (after I look up ALL of her lyrics online), whether I'm too old or not. I suggest you join me! (Fast forward to me at age 50 and still shopping at Forever 21).

http://www.ticketmaster.com/event/040042CAC8F831AE?artistid=723427&majorcatid=10001&minorcatid=1

http://www.britneyspears.com/tour/